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Carol Beer

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Carol Beer
Carolbeer
Name Carol Beer
Age 37/38
Gender Female
Country UK
Occupation Bank Officer (Season 2)
Travel Agent (Season 3)
Hospital Clerk (USA)
Works For Midwest Bank (Season 2)
Sun-Searchers (Season 3)
St. John's Hospital (USA)
Date of Birth 1969
Season 2, 3
Played By David Walliams

Carol Beer is a character in Little Britain. Carol is depicted as a receptionist or clerk in various companies throughout the show; she is a bank officer in Season 2, but transfers in Season 3 to the travel agency Sun-Searchers. Although working for a companies which require a fair amount of customer assistance, she is very unhelpful. When asked a question by a customer, she will type it into the computer (even if it's something she can answer herself) and then replies "Computer says no", followed by a strong cough in the customer's face.

LifeEdit

Carol was born in 1969 in A hospital.

BankEdit

In Season 2 she worked at the Midwest bank as a front-desk officer. Carol is rude to customers. She is unwilling to use any human initiative or common sense to help her customers, and will then cough at them to make them leave. Carol instead relies on her computer to give answers to customer queries. It is hinted that Carol has a crush on a bank worker.

Sun-SearchersEdit

In Season 3 Carol is now working for a travel agency named Sun-Searchers that is said to be "in the new town of Spongebob Squarepants". Like at the bank, Carol is rude to customers and also books them bad holidays which they didn't ask for. She also isn't very good for the company, telling a customer about how a previous purchaser lost a flip-flop in the Caribbean and that Carol's travel company flew a replacement flip-flop to him first class - all he had to pay for was the flight... and the flip-flop.

In Little Britain Abroad, Carol is a Sun-Searchers rep for British tourists in Spain. One couple (played by Matt Lucas and an uncredited lady) in her tour group often found themselves bearing the brunt of Carol's bad attitude, starting from when she had the tour bus leave without them when it stopped for them, after the wife became nauseous. Later, they wished to book a day cruise, but after being made to wait for a few seconds until precisely 9.00am (the time Carol started work), she informed them there was only one seat left and asked whether one would like to swim alongside the ship. The couple later complained about Carol, saying she had been rude and unhelpful. After Carol burst into tears the couple agreed to withdraw the complaint, only to be called "dirty shitters" by Carol as she walked away. A final sketch shows Carol holding a mini farewell party ("Carol's Karay-zay Karaoke Party") for her tour group. She delivers a rendition of The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited" in her trademark monotone voice, finally driving the wife mad, who flails away at Carol, eventually being dragged away by security guards.

St. John's HospitalEdit

In Little Britain USA, Carol is a receptionist for St. John's Hospital in Pennsylvania. Her demeanour has noticeably changed - she seems to be more outspoken and no longer speaks in her infamous drawling tone, and is now no longer above using expletives against patients, even young children. However, she remains unhelpful and bureaucratic as before. In her final appearance in the series, an old man shuffles slowly into the reception area, causing Carol to flare up in annoyance. As per her usual self, Carol turns away the man rudely when he attempts to book an appointment with a cardiologist, stating that system records show the man is dead. He shuffles away in annoyance, causing Carol to yell at him. Carol is shocked when the old man turns around to point the middle finger at her.

AppearanceEdit

Carol is fairly overweight and has long, unkempt hair. Her skirt is comically worn just under her bosom, and she's always seen in a red polka-dotted blouse in Season 2. She wears old-fashioned double-bridge glasses with pink frames. By the events of Little Britain USA, Carol has changed her glasses - they remain the same style, but are now gold. She appears to have a penchant for floral blouses, and wears them to work in place of the earlier red polka-dotted blouses (presumably part of a uniform)

VariationsEdit

Variations to "Computer says no..."Edit

  • After Carol was invited to a work outing she said "Computer says will Melanie be there?"
  • After Carol had said "Computer says no..." twice, the third time she said "The computer would like to refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I just gave a moment ago"
  • In the last episode of Season 3, a customer asked about a cruise to which Carol replied "Computer says yes!" in a confused tone, then the customer coughed which caused Carol to flinch, surprised.
  • In a Season 3 deleted scene. Carol told customers hoping to go to Germany "Das computer sagt nein".
  • In Little Britain: Abroad, The Sun-Searchers Spanish rep (who looks exactly like Carol) told Carol (when asking for some excursions) "La Computedora dice no"
  • On the Season 2 DVD, if you select the card with Bubbles DeVere on it, Carol says "DVD player says no..." and then coughs.

Variations to her coughEdit

  • She once blew a cough to a customer, in the style of blowing a cock
  • A female customer coughed one time and Carol protested, "Cover your mouth when you cough, please? That's disgusting!" The woman apologised, then recieved a faceful of Carol's famous cough.
  • She also once coughed into an envelope and gave it to two customers and when they opened it, the cough came out at them.
  • In Little Britain: Live, Carol held out a Sun-Seekers lolly to a little girl, coughed on it, sucked on it and held it out to offer again.

CatchphrasesEdit

  • "Computer says nooo..."
  • oh, for FUCKS sake!
  • "Computer says FUCK OFF"
  • it's a shithole!

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