|First appearance||Season 2, Episode 2|
|Played By||David Walliams|
Linda is a University Counselor at the University of the North West Midlands, formerly Dudley Polytechnic. She helps students at the university out, but often needs to contact someone else at the university named 'Martin'. When she phones Martin and tries to describe the student to him, she does so in an offensive manner, despite the fact that they are sitting right in front of her.
Linda appears to be a member of the English (literature) faculty in the Universities, as most of the students she deals with come with enquiries on essays that deal with topics like the works of Sylvia Plath and feminist poetry.
Little Britain USAEdit
Linda serves in a similar capacity in an American university. She appears only twice in the series (excluding one deleted scene), dealing with students who come with enquiries on their essays on feminist poetry and contemporary African-American poets.
Students Linda has insultedEdit
- Joanna Harding - Described as a "Big Fat Lesbian" since she was overweight, had a tomboyish appearance and was doing a feminist poetry essay.
- Kenneth Lao - Described as a "Ching Chong Chinaman" with "yellowish skin and a slight smell of soy sauce." since he was of Chinese descent.
- Paul Roberts - Described as the "Oompa Loompa" that "looks up a lot and got his clothes from Baby Gap." since he has dwarfism. When Paul walked out, Linda sang the Oompa Loompa song.
- Robin Dashwood - Described as "BALDY!" that "puts you in a mind of a young Elmer Fudd, fell out of the same tree as Duncan Goodhew and could be mistaken for a boiled egg". since he was bald. He was played by Matt Lucas (without added make up or costume). Before he leaves, Linda pats him on the head.
- Nina - Described as Magnum P.I. that "looks like she was slurping a cappucino, people getting a stubble rash if they kissed her and never heard of Immac" as she had a slight hint of a moustache. Linda also described her as "Chewbacca in a bikini" when she walked out.
- Steve - Described as Ali Bongo. He was described as someone from "It Ain't Half Hot Mum", looks like he just stepped out out from the shower and Carmen Miranda without the fruit", since he was an Indian student with a turban. Steve said his name isn't Ali Bongo so Linda changed it to Steve Bongo.
- Molly Spencer - Described as "Molly the Mole", and as "almost very pretty, balancing a Malteser on her face and when people see her, they'll say "Careful, there's a bee on ya!", because she has a large mole on her cheek. When Molly was leaving, Linda sang "I am a mole and I live in a hole."
- Roland Baryl - Described as Fatty Fatty Boom Boom who is "not keen on salad, Eddie Murphy and the Klumps, makes you want to say "Roland, I only want to help you, Roland." and "Barry White in Stars In Their Eyes" as he was overweight, and an African American. When Roland was leaving, Linda sang "Hey Fatty Boom Boom. Sweet sugar dumpling."
- Andrew - Described as "Handy Andy" that "would not make it as a juggler and would find press-ups very tiring" as he noticeably has only one arm. When he left, Linda said to Martin that she should've likened him to the drummer of Def Leppard. Andrew heard this. This scene was removed into the series 3 deleted scenes because David Walliams, according to his commentary, believed it to be crossing the line in taste. Andrew appeared in the final sketch with all the other students, but his insult was edited out.
Little Britain USAEdit
- Stephen Morrow - Described as "Gary Coleman" that "puts you in mind of a Hobbit, gets his clothes from Baby Gap, would've made a fabulous Ewok and Gary Colman's line "Watcha talking 'bout, Willis?" because he has dwarfism and is a African American. As Stephen left her office in shock, Linda sang the Oompa Loompa song.
- Darin Chao - Described as a "Lady Boy" that is described as "a big fan of noodles and pen pals with Clay Aiken" since he looks feminine and is Chinese. When he said goodbye to Linda, she said "Me love you long time!" in a extremely camp and weird voice (a reference to the Da Nang hooker in the 1987 film Full Metal Jacket).
All of the above students appeared in protest at the end of the third series, including a previously unseen red, curly-haired young man she apparently had previously described as Mick Hucknall. Their protest was responded to with casual indifference and another phone call to Martin who was indignantly informed that she had the entire cast of Fraggle Rock with her.
In a deleted scene of Little Britain Abroad, the tables were turned since her Australian counterpart remarked she had "greying hair, smelt a bit musky, needed a shave, was the wrong side of the menopause, and was described as the "Dried-up old witch". This sends Linda out in tears.
Little Britain LiveEdit
- Patricia - Described as Chewbacca that "when she waves, it looks like she has a tarantula under her arm and looks like she's got Brian May and Anita Dobson in a headlock." When Patricia stomped out, Linda did a Chewbacca roar. Patricia appeared in Comic Relief Little Britain when she was played by Patricia Kensit.
- Dave - Described as "Blind Dave" that "wears sunglasses but not in a cool way, would get money off his T.V. license, would be last to pick for a darts team and people could give him V signs and shake their bum at him and he wouldn't realize" since he was blind. When Dave went out, Linda rapidly said "Left, Right and said Don't milk it!" Dave is also played by Matt Lucas.
- Unnamed student - Described as "Fiddler on the Roof" just before he was going to make a request. He wore a traditional Jewish dress.
Despite being to offensive, racist, facist, homophobic, she has many 'equal rights' posters and other Leftist or Soviet memorabilia and a cup which says 'I Love Moscow'.
- "Martin, it's Linda"
- "How can I describe her/him?"
- "That's right, [insulting phrase]."